New clients ask me all the time – What is exactly is your role as our divorce mediator?
Coach and idea generator
Besides being the neutral third party who is here to help you both work through a list of wants and needs (see previous blog post) another role I play as your divorce mediator is one of coach and idea generator.
Sometimes you may come across a mediator who has an opinion of how things should be in your particular case – many times those mediators used to be divorce attorneys and it can be hard for them not to present a case for one of you over the other, it’s in their nature and what they are used to but it doesn’t always help clients get to a mutually agreed upon solution to how to end a marriage.
My goal is to listen, hear what each of you are saying and then provide a safe place for each of you to generate multiple ideas and suggestions that can be worked through between the three of us in order for you both to accomplish your divorce mediation goals.
I do this by using worksheets that I provide the two of you to help trigger these ideas, suggestions, and inputs which will then lead to a successful after divorce mediation plan.
This includes creative ways to work through child custody and parenting issues, financial division of assets and dealing with things like the marital home.
Every set of clients are different and my goal and objective is to provide help and guidance that is tailored to my clients and results in a mediation that specifically address all the nuances of their family dynamics and what each client needs to move forward in their life.
Once we have gone through these worksheets, check lists and each the client’s own lists of questions and concerns, I will then take all of this agreed-upon information and at the end of the process, I prepare a complete Marital Settlement Agreement that not only satisfies the requirements for a divorce in California but also becomes the step by step guide of how my clients will unravel their marriage, the assets of their marriage and handle custody of their children (if applicable) every day going forward.
So – as a divorce mediator the second thing I do is provide safe environment for divorce mediation where clients are heard, their concerns are addressed and when we are finished they have a starting point for their future.
This is just one of the many ways divorce mediation helps you take control of your life.